This past Monday I had my thyroid removed. In the words of my surgeon it was huge. I’m not sure if that’s a clinical term or not. I’d never had surgery of any kind before (unless you count having my wisdom teeth removed) so the night in the hospital was an adventure. So in light of education, here is what I learned.
Don’t get angry when somebody feels the need to wake you up every hour and a half to two hours. I swear, every time I got settled in to sleep somebody needed my blood or a monitor was going off or they had to check my blood pressure or I had to pee.
Navigating an IV pole is an art. I got pretty good at it. Is it really necessary for those things to have 6 legs?
You will pay anything for entertainment when you are stuck in a bed.
There’s no need to be embarrassed when you throw up. When they first brought me up to my room, I came to saying that I felt sick. The nurse asked me if I needed something for nausea and I puked on the bed. I feel bad, but seriously, how embarrassed can I be? I passed out again immediately after I finished throwing up. I don’t even know who I threw up on. (Whoever you are, I’m sorry.)
If something starts pinging, beeping or chirping in the middle of the night, call the nurse. It’s not going to shut off on its own and no one is going to notice it.
That adhesive they use for the bandages is impossible to get off. A nurse gave me an oil based pad that sorta worked, but not completely. I found a sensor pad on my back yesterday, two days after the operation and some of that adhesive ended up stuck on the tub. It’s everywhere.
If they give you an ice pack, take it home with you. I didn’t bring mine home and now I’m stuck improvising with freezer bags, a tea towel and scarf. Good thing I’m home alone.