Goldilocks and the Three Pairs Of Bowling Shoes

Published July 18, 2009 by Christa Maurice

Yeah, my whole life does revolve around other people’s children, but this was funnier than most anecdotes and had the built in funny title.

Chloe is one of those kids who craves attention and gets it by being annoying. Everyone is always teasing her, picking on her hitting her, etc. About 3/4ths of the time she’s making it up to get attention. She doesn’t need to. I’m pretty free with hugs and attention. (Unless a kid is in a bathing suit. That’s just icky.) If a kid wants a monopoly on me, I will do my best to make it happen for a short time anyway. Chloe’s behavior makes me not want to do my best. It also makes all the kids pick on her, tease her and, yes, hit her more often.

Last week we went bowling. I lined the kids up to get shoes and asked them what size they wore before sending then to the counter where the other teacher got the shoes for them. Chloe said she wore a 2. We got her a 2.

Five minutes later she comes to me. “These shoes are too big.”

“It’s the size you said you wore.”

“No, I said I wear a 1.” It’s better if you read this with a whine because that’s how it was delivered.

Now, when I asked, I repeated the number to her and when she went to the counter she heard it repeated again, twice. I was onto the scam from minute one. But we had to go change shoes anyway. The guy at the counter was nice enough about it and got her a pair of 1 1/2s.

We go back to bowling. Fifteen minutes later Chloe comes back. “These shoes are hurting my feet.” We go back to the counter. Same guy gets her a pair of 2s. She sits down on the floor in front of the counter to put them on.

And this is where it get funny.

Chloe puts on one shoe and says, “It’s too cold.”


“This shoe is too cold.”

I said something like, just put it on Goldilocks, rolled my eyes at the clerk and hustled her back to the rest the kids.

This shoe is too cold?


2 comments on “Goldilocks and the Three Pairs Of Bowling Shoes

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